Oops!!

I knew it'd happen, and it took several days to figure out who we'd leave out when we went down the list of "Thank You's."

Tommy & Aimee Poche have been there for us for some time. When Brandi and I went through fertility assistance, Aimee was able to encourage Brandi through that time. When we had questions about adoption, Tommy & Aimee welcomed us into thier home and answered all our questions and again, gave us great encouragement. As we wait for Jada to send us some pictures of her, Aimee drops a call to Brandi to make sure she was doing OK.

Tommy and Aimee have a GREAT story. Through thier experience, they were able to start "His Heart for Orphans", the adoption ministry at our church. It has been a pleasure serving under them in the adoption ministry and more importantly, it has been an encouragement for us to be able to witness the way they have handled thier walk with adoption and eventually having thier own child. It provides us with a great model of how we want to handle it.

Just to give you a brief overview, they went from not concieving and not knowing why, to 7 children in less than 3 years!! (I think) Be encouraged and check out the His Heart for Orphans site.

Thanks Tommy & Aimee, you have been GREAT friends!!

The Silver Lining....Many Thanks!!

One of the many bright spots in this difficult journey that Brandi and I have experienced was how our friends and family has really stepped up and lended their support and prayers. I think it's appropriate that we publically thank those who have helped us get through this season of our lives.

One thing I've learned during this experience is that although Brandi and I have really grown in our communication and we've really made it a point to be open about our thoughts and feelings, we could not have gotten to the place we have without some outside help and counsel. Even though I want to be there for Brandi in every way possible, she needs to have female friends who can walk with her through this. It is healthy that other women, who have similar desires and emotional places that I simply do not have, are able to speak into Brandi's life at this time.

It was really a blessing to see Brandi be able to have some really good friends that she can lean on and the same for me. It was so good to have our friends give up thier time and ears to encourage us and comfort us. So, in no particular order, I'd like to thank some of the people who have been there for us. (This is an incomplete list. It's 3:50am and I've been up for 19 hours, so I'll have Brandi review this and amend the list as necessary.)

Mrs. Brenda & Mr. Glen, Brandi's mom and dad. They are simply "givers", they have given their time and treasures from before I can remember. They were there when we first married and moved off to South Carolina and since then have and continue to shower us with love and gifts. It is very much appreciated.

Peter & Shanna Forrestall, David & Lisa Latona. Shanna has been to Brandi what Randy (see below) has been to me, a great friend and mentor to Brandi. David and Lisa bother us with phone calls and requests for visits when we choose the hermit life! They are a joy to be around. You guys will forever be part of our lives. Thanks for everything.

Randy and Rachel Lambert, a great couple who we've had the priviledge to serve with. Randy has been a big part of my walk in this season. He is someone I can talk to, vent to with no guard up, I can be real with him. He keeps my eye on the main thing. Ya'll have been such a blessing.

Dennis and Shae David, some of our best friends that we don't spend enough time with. They have really comforted us and encouraged us and most importantly, let us be a part of their lives and their precious children's lives. We love you guys.

Julio & Sherrie Malera. Even in a brief moment, these guys really gave us hope and encouragement during the darkest time of this journey. Their wisdom and guidance kept us on the right path. That short visit has made a long impact on us.

The Austins, Brother Wayne & Mrs. Dee. Brandi and I have discussed that throughout our marriage, we have had several "spiritual grandparents" come into our lives and these guys have been that for us at this time in our lives. It's such a pleasure to serve under them in the marriage ministry at HPC. We know they have covered us in prayer. They are the best!

Brandi has had GREAT support from her new co-workers at HPC. Robyn Alise: Many thanks to the HPC Nursery for keep us in thier prayers. Claudia Berry and Yvonne Bourgeois have also gave Brandi great support, wisdom and encouragement.

Kristin Rentz has been such a great friend and been able to keep a smile on Brandi's face. She has wisdom beyond her years.

Earl Rentz, Tammy Landry, Mark Ammons & Doug Musso, Brandi's posse in the Finance Department has stepped up with great compassion and understanding when we've needed it. There's no place she'd rather be working. Thanks a bunch guys and gals.

We are so thankful that God has provided these great people for us in just the right time. It's really hard to imagine the last 5 years without these people sowing into our lives and supporting us and keeping our sights on the mission and vision. It would be easy to dwell on the delayed/unanswered prayers and disappointments and forget about the bright spots and the blessings. It's just another way He provides for us and continues to provide.

God is Good!

WE'RE DEBT FREE!!!!!!

Update from original post.

We're posting this as encouragement, not to brag. We just want to encourage anyone who reads this that if personal finance is a struggle and a source of tension, there is relief. In June 2005, Brandi and I discovered some GREAT information about personal finance and decided to put it to practice. The information in this book changed our perception about personal finances.

As of April 18, 2006, we are debt free except the mortgage! How did this happen? SACRIFICE! We had to cut back our lifestyle. My personality is borderline A.D.D. I don't stay interested in many things for too long. I like to dive deep into something for a short burst of time and then I'm ready to eject very soon after starting. But, this getting out of debt thing stuck with me. The way I see it, if God put this burden on my heart this strong, this burden that contradicts my personality and behaviors, it must be important. It feels especially comforting to know that we will be free to meet any financial need that comes up for Jada without going into debt.

It wasn't all roses and candy. After 10 months of doing this Brandi revealed to me at times, she felt a little constricted. I confessed I was too hardcore and went a little overboard and I didn't communicate well enough to make her feel comfortable. That was potentially a big mistake, because her vote counts in our marriage! I need her input, her wisdom. Thankfully, we ironed it out and we're moving forward, a little wiser. After 16+ years, we're still learning, still growing.

It was really difficult, but looking at what we've accomplished and the opportunities that are available to us now, it is so worth it. It really feels great to have this freedom and really encourage everyone that the months of pain will produce a lifetime of peace.

Alot of people made fun of us, and we missed out on some things, but we'll far better off in the long run.

I'd like to publically thank Brandi. Like so many times before, she trusted me, supported me and walked this path with me, even when the execution wasn't perfect. Thanks so much for your heart. Your strength and love for me encourages me and enables me to do things I couldn't do by myself. "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Proverbs 31:29.

Easter at the River Center

This is a last minute invitation, but better late than never, right?

If you don't have plans for Easter, I'd like to encourage you to take part in Healing Place Church's Easter at the River Center.

Brandi and I have been so blessed by being a part of this church for the past 6 years. The family at HPC has really encouraged us to figure out our gifts, talents, passions and strengths and use them for a purpose that is something bigger than ourselves.

Healing Place Church is not in the business of "recruiting" or "stealing" members from other churches, but if you are not currently involved in a good bible teaching church, we would encourage you to check out what HPC is all about.

We are so thankful for where we have been and where God has taken us. We believe everything happens for a reason and we believe God had a reason for leading us to HPC.

We believe that there are literally hundreds of GREAT churches in South Louisiana and we are really glad that we have found a church home in HPC.

If you would like to see if the Mission, Vision and Values of HPC is something you'd like to be a part of, come by the River Center Sunday morning and check it out.

Preparing for Parenting

The Milionaire Next Door by Thomas Stanley is a great book. This guy did a in depth study on many, many millionaires to see what they all had in common. You'd be very surprised about the common traits and characteristics they have.

Now, I think becoming millionaires were just ONE of the many successful areas in their lives. The financial wealth of these people is just one of the many great products that came from the character and values these people possess. They are wealthy in many areas of life.

One simple common practice they all have is that the average millionaire reads, on average, 1 non-fiction book per month. Always increasing their knowledge, never settling or letting up. This challenged me when I read this fact. (FYI: a new study has found that the average number of hours spent in front of the TV in North America is up to 8 HOURS PER DAY!?!?!? How many non fiction books could we knock out if we invested 8 hours a day reading? Another interesting article.)

Some of the things Brandi and I have been reading in preparation for the arrival of Jada are:

• Boundaries by Henry Cloud
• Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo
• Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew by Sherrie Eldridge
• The Lost Daughters of China by Karin Evans
• QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability in Work and in Life by John Miller

Half Time by Bob Buford is a book I haven't read yet, but is HIGH on my list. The main focus and subtitle of the book is, "Changing your game plan from success to significance." WOW! Think about that for a second. When people look back on your life, your contribution to this world, wouldn't you want to be remembered for your significance more than your success?

I believe that if you are doing what you are called to do, if you are operating in your gifts and doing significant work, success is BOUND to follow, right?

Wouldn't that be a GREAT value for Brandi and I to teach and live for Jada? Our plan is that she will grow up to live a life of significance, that she will find out in her early years what God has called her to do. We hope she doesn't wait until she's in her mid-thirties to start having this mindset.

Maybe God have us 2 extra months in order to read 2 more books that could help us develop & prepare her heart for whatever God has planned for Jada? What's on your coffee table, bedside table? What are you reading?

Settling Down

Well, we are somewhat getting over the disappointment of the delay in the process. We understand there's no use dwelling on it, since we can't do nothing about it. Again, we have come to realize that after 6 years of this journey, it is OK to talk about disappointments, and just say it out loud.

We thought we were being strong in the past when we'd just not face it, pretend it wasn't there. But, it is there and it's real, so we just talk about it, say it out loud, let it out and let it off our minds. If not, it sits there building and building and building. Then, it could sneak into many other areas of our lives, our jobs, our marriage and our other relationships.

I'm so over expecting to have perfect lives. I often wonder about people who insist they don't have struggles, or trials. Also, I've gained much compassion for other's who are struggling. I've learned alot about how to really help people who are hurting.

Most of the time, hurting people just need to know that they are normal for having the feelings they are experiencing. Unless the feelings are unhealthy or they are controlling other parts of their lives, they need to know it's OK to feel the way they are feeling. Then, they need to be led and encouraged to let God speak to them during the trials. But generally, people need time to "soak in" the situation just after it happens. They need time to sort out their emotions and mourn if they have to.

Just a quick recommendation: Be real careful (if you don't have a strong relationship with them) of pouring on the "God has a plan...." or "It's God's timing...." stuff. Now, I'm not saying spiritual support is bad, of course it's helpful, but in the right time. As for me and Brandi, we know that God's hand is over us and this situation. Still, we get disappointed and when we are disappointed, we need to let ourselves go through the emotions of that. We have to deal with not getting what we expected. If we never do that, then it builds and builds and builds.

We have come to believe that during all these trials, God wants to draw us to closer Him, to draw from His strength more and He wants to teach us something. Maybe build that compassion for others in order to help them when they are going through similar things.

Honestly, when people who have never been through similar things try to help, it just doesn't do much. Now, people who have walked that road, people who can empathize with what we're feeling and the emotions we are experiencing, those people can really help you get through to the other side.

Other than all that, we know that the disappointments here on earth will be forgotten at some point before we begin our eternity in paradise. That's what Hope holds for believers.